Life's End

An afternoon of deep dialog

Aaron J. Radke — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:00:00 +0000

I feel so crazy. It is happening again. I have met another. I am always longing for more. It's like a drug.

It was an intense conversation. It was as if we were one. I thought I spent my life communicating but just minutes passed. Hours slipped by with ever unfolding joy. My thoughts flowed effortlessly. I understood all. Creativity was free to run. We could go anywhere. I felt wonder in the creator for such beauty. A rush and a high like none other. Short concise statements conveyed depths of meaning without misinterpretation. Every thought jumped to other thoughts. Time went by so fast, yet I did not even think of time. I spent an afternoon with Ruby.

Although we had something going, I now realize those conversations were not all that deep. I didn't know how shallow I was. I was seeing things I never had before, but those were just foothills of mountains. I have recently met Scala.

About Life's End

Aaron J. Radke — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:00:00 +0000

Life's end is worship. Your time, actions, choices, passions and thoughts are a display of what you think is really import. Worship is life's end. You can not escape it.

The seed of faith

Aaron Radke — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:00:00 +0000

The seed of faith is wrapped up into the greatest gifts of all. Even when I feel I have no joy or longing for God, the longing for the longing is a joy itself. If I don't have the longing, I have the sadness that I don't long. Thank God for this gift that will not let us go. Stop and take wonder. Let this properly build a confidence.

First, I would say that a Christian, no matter how dark the season of his sadness, never is completely without joy in God. I mean that there remains in his heart the seed of joy in the form, perhaps, of only a remembered taste of goodness and an unwillingness to let the goodness go. This is not the "joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory" ( 1 Pet. 1:8). It's not the joy that we have known at times and fight to regain. But it is a fragment of such joy—like a man who sits in prison and pulls out a tattered picture of his wife, or a paralyzed victim of a car accident who watches a video of the day he could dance. Or, even more fragmentary, the joy may only lie there in the cellar of our soul in the form of penitent sadness that we cannot desire God as we ought. Inside that sadness is the seed of what we once knew of joy. ¹

¹ John Piper, When the Darkness will not Lift:Doing what we can while we wait for God-and Joy, http://www.desiringgod.org/media/pdf/books_bdnl.pdf , Crossway Books, 2006

Longing for Transformation

Aaron J. Radke — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:00:00 +0000

This week I have been longing for freedom. Groping for some truth and joy in the "freedom of Christ", I have been reading the Humility ¹ book by C.J. Mahaney. I came to a section which described the pervasive and destructive nature of our pride. He went on to describe the wonders of Christ's ransom paid for our sin for our freedom. At this point I put the book down to think. I was glad but not satisfied. Why? I am longing for some freedom now, some transformation. I don't feel free. I thought, is this longing taking precedence over valuing the cross? Then in a sublime moment, I realized I may never change the way I would want in this life. I may always struggle deeply and have to fight vigorously and fall many times in this life. Transformation that I feel may only be a greater recognition of my need for the ransom. It is disheartening that there may always be a fight. But if that struggle and fight keeps me with a continued display of my dependence on the ransom and it my only real assurance and my only real hope of glory, then so be it. So be it, but God keep me for that purpose alone.

Sure as anything, I want to change. I don't want to sit satisfied where I am. Yet, I feel it is crucial that I dwell and glory in the cross here a little this way. To really be able to stand when Satan says, "Your messed up and you will never change" and I say back to him "maybe, but that is why the ransom is worth so much". I think he may like it when I "defend myself" that I am changing. I am way to prone to see my ease as my good works. If I am not struggling I may not see a need for a ransom.

Picking up the book again, the next few pages talked about transformation! Transformation happens after seeing this need for the ransom. Seeing this ransom is what transformed James and John from emphatically not laying down their lives to humbly serving!

In closing, there is nothing like listening afresh to a long lost doctrinally rich song from youth. I sang it then for the catchy tune, but today I find wonder in the truth. It gives me this profound wonder that God is still at work in my life. I didn't see the depth or wonder of the lyrics before but now I gladly do. Here is one that stumbled across this morning:

Please allow me to introduce me.
Half of me slave, the other half free.
Righteous and sinful,
Both at the same time.
Iniquity and purity
Fill up the same mind.
And out of the same mouth,
The holy and profane.
I curse all my brothers,
Then I bless Christ's name.
I hang in the balance,
But still Im secure.
Im leaning towards evil,
But striving to be pure.

I stand between the saint and
Sinner, chasing after holiness, close
Enough to grasp, but still its just
Beyond my reach.
Who I am is in between,
What I wanna be and what I am.

Pulling from both sides,
Humility and pride.
One seeks to give,
The other to be gratified.
In any case, however,
I know Im in need.
Two appetites in me,
Which one do I feed?
Running fast as I can
After elusive perfection.
No Im not there yet,
But sure Im in the right direction.
Cuz I see me at the end
And I look glorified.
Justified safe inside,
So I seek to be sanctified ²

¹ C.J. Mahaney, Humility: True Greatness, Multnomah, September, 2005
² Supertones, In Between, Chase the Sun, Emi Cmg Distribution, 1999

Fighter Verses

Aaron Radke — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 12:55:48 +0000

Word

Blessed is the man ...
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.( ps1:1-2)

The word of our
God will stand forever.( Is40:8)

Glory

Who has measured the waters
in the hollow of his hand? ( Is40:12)

whatever you do,
do to the glory of God. ( 1Cor10:31)

Have you not heard? The
LORD is the everlasting God ( Is40:28)

I created you...
for my glory. ( Is43:7)

And the glory of the
Lord shall be revealed. ( Is40:5)

Salvation

You were darkness,
but now light in the Lord. ( Eph5:8)

Trust in the Lord
God, an everlasting rock. ( Is26:4)

Awe

The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable. ( Is40:28)

Sanctification

...grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ( 2pt3:14)

Focus

...preparing your minds for action ... set your hope fully on the grace ... at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ( 1pt1:13)

Power in weakness

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy ( Col1:11)

Children

I have no greater joy than
to hear that my children walk in truth. ( 3Jn 1:4)

Anxieties

Fear not, strength comes from God

you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, "You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off";
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ( is41:9-10)

Some of the references for these verses on anxiety come from ¹.

Decisions

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.( ps32:8)

Future

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ( Jeremiah 29:11)

Welfare of loved ones

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!( mt7:11)

sickness

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.( ps34:19)

Death

For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. ( rm14:7-9)

Falling away from faith

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. ( ph1:6)

Facing opponents

what then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ( rm8:31)

Old age

even to your old age I am he,
and to gray hairs I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
I will carry and will save. ( is46:4)

Weak for work

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ( 2cor12:9)

Over ministry

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. ( is55:11)

Listen

Hear my voice,
Listen and hear my speech. ( Is28:23)

if you hear His voice,
Do not harden your hearts (Heb3)

If anyone has
an ear, let him hear. ( Rev 13:9)

Listen to Me ...
You who seek the LORD ...
Look to the rock ... ( Is. 51:1)

Listen to Me, ...
And give ear to Me, ... ( Is. 51:4)

Listen to Me ...
in whose heart is My law
you who know righteousness, ( Is. 51:7)

you who fear God,
_Listen_

Charge to wage war

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.( mk14:38)

Triumph over sin

Not perfect in this life

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.( phl3:12)

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. ( 2cor3:18)

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ( rm7:24)

Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions.
Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted.
I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, ( 1tm1:6-12)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ( 2tm4:7)

Sovereignty

To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. ( 2ths1:11-12)

Glory to chirst

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. ( hb13:20-21)

whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. ( 1pt4:11)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
our efforts are not finally decisive ( gal5:22-23)

complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. ( ph2:2-13)

God creates obedience

"Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. ( jer31:31-33)

And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live. ( dt30:6)

And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God. ( ez11:19-20)

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. ( ez36:26-27)

I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. ( jer32:40)

How to pray with our will power

and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, ( 1th3:12)

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. ( phl1:9-11)

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. ( phl2:12-13)

¹ Steve Halliday, John Piper, Future Grace: The purifying power of living by faith in future grace, http://desiringgod.org , Multnomah, Inter-varsity press, 1995

Equations of worship

Aaron Radke — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 04:27:36 +0000

Worship is beholding truth and finding it wonderful.

Physics had a profound influence on my understanding of worship. I sought the solid order of equations to escape the unstable ground of emotion. The world could be described in beautiful equations apart from frenzied emotion. Yet, in upheaval, worship grabbed me from behind. All of a sudden, I realized I could not explain why I rose in my seat in riveting wonder as derivations unfurled. Beyond the equations, I was stupefied by the capacity for wonder. We were made for wonder. Worship is beholding truth and finding it wonderful. Blindness and desecration is truth with disinterest.

Beauty is simple and at the same time massively entangled. The following are a sample of equations that exceedingly match this criteria.

From mathematics, Euler's equation (1):

(1)

simply relates fundamental constants by fundamental operations.

From physics, Einstein's equation for energy (2) :

(2)

combines seemingly unrelated fundamentals of nature.

From engineering, the description of dynamic states (3):

(3)

succinctly describes any physical system.

Riding on the tails of infinity

Aaron Radke — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 19:02:33 +0000

Infinity inextricably surrounds our finite experiences. We ought to be taught by the infinite tails that lie at our finite doorstep.

A linguistic friend once pulled this amazing piece of infinitude out of his pocket. By impromptu, he said, "Rye bread, salami and cheese from Denmark tastes great on sidewalk cafe's under umbrellas." He continued to remark that no one has ever said this finite set of 14 words before and no one ever else will. In that moment the finite was flirting with the infinite. Every sentence flirts; even this little one.

Examples, of this romance between the finite and infinite surround us. Fingerprints and snow flakes are mind boggling unique. A few notes in a western music scale have provided years of inexhaustible creativity. Often, ecstatic experiences come when time disappears. Finite time dissolves, in deep engaging conversation, an enjoyable thrilling ride or a grasped pure idea. The familiar Gaussian bell curve has infinite tails. In a giant upheaval, Leibniz and Newton sparked calculus into existence by observing infinitude in the instantaneous.

It is difficult to deny the perpetual longing for infinity. I remember as a young child being mesmerized in the simple mobius strip. What is the reason of this wonder? Why am I alarmed at a strand of gray hair? Why is an older woman often surprised at her aging body? C.S Lewis surmised,

We are so little reconciled to time that we are even astonished at it. "How he's grown!" we exclaim, "How time flies!" as though the universal form of our experience were again and again a novelty. It is as strange as if a fish were repeatedly surprised at the wetness of water. And that would be strange indeed; unless of course the fish were destined to become, one day, a land animal. ¹

"if we find in ourselves a desire that no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world. ²

The mathematical genius Pascal wrote,

For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either. The ends of things and their beginnings are impregnably concealed from him in an impenetrable secret. He is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness out of which he was drawn and the infinite in which he is engulfed.³

The infinite blows our minds. We need to daily go here for worship. Souls are refreshed by wonder. If heaven is a continual further up and further in ⁴, our minds will spend forever perfectly exploring and forever worshiping with wonder.

¹ C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms, Harvest Books, October 7, 1964
² C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, Touchstone edition 1952, Touchstone Books, 1952
³ Thought #72 W.F. Trotter, Blaise Pascal, Pense'es, http://www.ccel.org/ccel/pascal/pensees.i.html , Penguin Classics, 1660
⁴ Randy Alcorn, Heaven, Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois, 2004

Rational Creatures of Worship

Aaron Radke — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 15:12:37 +0000

I spent the morning at the edge of a valley river bank. I felt like Annie ¹. I was merely enjoying the bright sun and babbling rapids when I was given a free penny. A fish fluttered in the water right in front of my face. A carp, of some sort, freely frolicked in the shallow water. I wondered about its strange dance only to find it and three others were chasing down minnows. I think they were all unaware of me. The sun, the rapids, the big fish, and the little fish all declared the glory of God. Then, no longer a bystander, I began to feel a weight of my own unique creature-ness during this correspondence at the bank. I too, as a rational observing creature, was part of this divine interaction and was dutifully able to consciously declare the glory of God. Worship.

God is glorified not only by His glory's being seen, but by its being rejoiced in. When those that see it delight in it, God is more glorified than if they only see it. His glory is then received by the whole soul, both by the understanding and by the heart. God made the world that He might communicate, and the creature receive, His glory; and that it might [be] received both by the mind and heart. He that testifies his idea of God's glory [doesn't] glorify God so much as he that testifies also his approbation of it and his delight in it. ²

¹ Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Harper's Magazine Press, New York, 1974
² John Piper, God's Passion for His Glory: Living the Vision of Jonathan Edwards, Crossway Books, 1998 which comes from Jonathan Edwards, The End for Which God Created the World, http://edwards.yale.edu/major-works/the-end-for-which-god-created-the-world/ , Jonathan Edwards Center at Yale University, 1741

Mathematics and the embodied mind for awe

Aaron Radke — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 01:52:37 +0000

"Where mathematics comes from" ¹ is a perfect example of brilliant authors who take awe, but have no proper place to consummate that awe. The only logical conclusion is sought in ourselves.

The authors overflow with awe, longing to share and express wonder beyond mere proofs and into the beautiful meaning behind equations. The wonder is incredible. The clear explanations of mathematics connected with the linguistic conceptual metaphor is awe inspiring. Through this book these authors paint a clear picture of fundamental awe behind mathematics.

How are we able to speak of beauty and awe and glory come from when it is rooted in ourselves? Awe and beauty is beholding the big outside. We do not travel to Niagara falls to be filled with awe that we constructed, but rather to be lost in the expanse. Here are two questions to keep in mind when reading this book. What is the source of awe, and what is the purpose and meaning of awe itself?

Here is a pivotal paragraph from this book:

Mathematics as we know it is human mathematics, a product of the human mind. Where does mathematics come from? It comes from us! We create it, but it is not arbitrary--not a mere historically contingent social construction. What makes mathematics non-arbitrary is that it uses the basic conceptual mechanisms of the embodied human mind as it has evolved in the real world. Mathematics is a product of the neural capacities of our brains, the nature of our bodies, our evolution our environment and our long social and cultural history. ²

Contrast this quote with one from John Piper:

Most people don't go the Grand Canyon to enhance their self-esteem because there is an echo of the image of God on our souls that we were made to enjoy making much of God forever, not made to be made much of forever..
We were made to enjoy mirroring the glory of God, and when people go to the Grand Canyon there is something that happens in the human soul standing on the edge of that expanse that draws them out of themselves and in a moment, there is a precious gift of self-forgetfulness in which they swell with wonder.
That's why they're made and they all need positive echoes of it and they go to big crazy movies and they buy big books to put on their coffee tables with pictures of mountains and rivers because they know that their joy really comes from outside themselves and not by standing in front of a mirror. You were not created to find joy in a mirror no matter what you see there. ³

¹ George Lakoff, Rafael E. Nunez, Where mathematics comes from: How the emodied mind brings mathematics into being, Basic Books, 2000
² Ibid.
³ John Piper, Let the Nations be Glad, 2nd, Baker Academic, July, 2003

Neurons of Worship

Aaron Radke — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:37:49 +0000

The IBM Blue Brain Project is providing stunning research in cognitive intelligence. With a massive super computer parts of the neocortex are modeled and simulated. The neocortex makes up the largest portion of the human brain. Here, complex patterns are stored and conceptual thoughts are connected.

Jeff Hawkins started Numeta, a company promoting software patterned on the hierarchal storage and processing power of a collection of neurons in the neocortex.

Both Numeta and IBM are revealing fascinating features of our brains. Information is stored by continually presenting it with material. Overtime, the hierarchal pattern of neurons in the neocortex is trained to store essential features of interest. Repeating a wide variety of material provides a highly accentuated set of neurons that contain common essential patterns while deciphering from non important aspects. As an adult of varied experiences, an ornate victorian sofa and a bland wood stool both light up neurons associated with sitting. Two conclusions are:

A wide range of experiences from many vantage points should be explored
Care is required regarding what is fed to the brain; it shapes how the world is seen

At first, these conclusions appear to be diametrically opposed to each other. Choosing a limited set of experiences goes against experiencing all. A combined understanding comes from the concept of value.

Neurons are a distinct opportunity to encode value. Spending time on a topic or activity records value in neurons. Worship is a display of value. All of life is a display of value. All of life is worship.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ( Philipians4:8)

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. ( Romans8:5-7)

A physical battle for belief in order

Aaron Radke — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 13:29:00 +0000

I got up with a traditional bowl of Total with sprinkled raisins from the Amish country and a douse of soy milk. I thanked God he always provides food and life despite my hundreds of rebellions through the previous day. But an additional, different and new consuming thought flashed across my mind this morning.

Over the past number of months I have wrestled with the seemingly paradoxical balance of the spiritual and physical realm. I enjoy the worshipful wonder in the predictable order of the physical. The spiritual seems to allow this order to be tossed aside. "Redeeming Science" ¹ offered a satisfying answer. The physical world is the actual manifestation of God's Word spoken into existence. The world's physical order is in place and sustained by the commitment God has in his own power and logic. The joy in predictable order is the steadfast order and perfection of God himself. This understanding frees me to know that spiritual interactions with the physical world, that may alter physics, are still part of God's order and even in a greater way.

This morning, I realized the food I was eating was an expression of God's word spoken into being. The laws of physics that hold the protons, electrons and neutrons together and make up of Total follows the order of God's spoken word. I have food because God sustains me and holds my being together also. I want to continue developing this incredible frame of view.

But the next thought shocked and warned me into a need to see a deeper reality. As I munched and thought about the ramifications, I immediately thought of friends with painful illness and people in countries dying from a lack of provisions. How would these people view the physical order of the world? Food is not a commodity. To them, bodies that have physical order to hold them together are a harsh reality that provisions are not being met. The hourly pain, dry throat, cracked lips, sleepless nights, dreams of food, and goal reducing weakness on a physical body is a constant glaring scream that order is not in place. How is this discrepancy of order and disorder reconciled in my mind? How would I view God when my physical needs are not being met? It is easy to think of lofty ideas of theology and wonder when your needs are met, but finding wonder in God when needs are not met is a deeper reality. If wonder is still found, then a deep God is seen to be worth over life itself. He is glorified greater because he is seen as a greater prize.

After a pondering breakfast, I read the following. It is a story about a man who had everything and then lost everything:

Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong. ( Job1:20-22)

I believe I am in a massive time of plenty. I just pray that I would not see this time as normative and even shape my theology from it. Making a time of plenty as normal improperly shapes my view of who God is and how he interacts with me.

As usually, I think a massively bigger picture of God needs to be grasped. Much of faith is wrapped up in believing God has order to everything, even when the order, to us, seems failing. Why are there many promises and exhortations to

not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ( Matt6:25)

and

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." ( Prv3:5)

or to believe that

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will ( Eph1:11)

and learn to say

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. ( Phl4:12)

Each verse is getting at a desire for order and meaning. Each is rooted in believing the promises that God has a massive order of glorifying himself. The wonder for us is inclusion! He already gave us his son, how much more will he include us? ( Rm8:32) Do we believe it? Lord I believe, just help my unbelief ( Mk9:24).

¹ Vern S. Poythress, Redeeming Science:A God-centered approach, Crossway Books, 2006

Neurons of Influence

Aaron Radke — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 18:17:44 +0000

It was a long drive, through steady snow fall, to meet a friend for lunch on the other side of town. With a filled stomach, I strolled back to the car after lunch. Lost in reflection, I walked with my feet constrained in a crisp tire track of displaced snow leading to my car. All at once, I was profoundly compelled this physical track in this physical world came from a mental decision to meet my friend and pick a specific parking place. As a transistor controls a much greater current, a small neuron in my brain had a profound influence recorded in the snow. Ideas have consequences in the physical world.

Recently, I was given the opportunity to watch a film about William Wilberforce and read excerpts of a biography on his life ¹. This man had a profound effect on the world by thoughts in his mind driven by convictions and affections.

This written reflection of words and letters has a purely physical form, yet they symbolize ideas of a metaphysical nature. It is mind boggling I can simultaneously enter your mind and you can enter mine as I write and you read this sentence through physical media. Additionally, communication is really the only way mind entering is possible. There are other manifestations of communication such as art, music and equations. However, each contain a consistent physical pattern for idea transfer. A thought needs to be expressed into media such as contrast on a page for words or oscillating airwaves against eardrums. Then the expression needs to be demodulated. An idea requires time and energy to be put into a physical organized form. Once formed, it takes both time and energy of another mind to decode the expressed idea.

The requirement of time and energy, both physical, is revealing and challenging. Where we spend our time and energy is a display of our thoughts and accordingly what we think is really important. The physical world is a place for worship. God gives time and God gives energy. Leading back to life's end, may my thoughts and actions spill out with my time and energy to what is really important.

¹ John Piper, Amazing Grace in the Life of William Wilberforce, Crossway Books, 2006

The weight of glory: the problem and solution of delight

Aaron Radke — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:53:42 +0000

The problem and solution of delight

Lewis, in The weight of glory ¹, spills out a massive thought:

I can imagine someone saying that he dislikes my idea of heaven as a place where we are patted on the back. But proud misunderstanding is behind that dislike. In the end that Face which is the delight or the terror of the universe must be turned upon each of us either with one expression or with the other, either conferring glory inexpressible or inflicting shame that can never be cured or disguised.
...
To please God ... to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness ... to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son-it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can hardly sustain. But it is so. ²

I have a hard time thinking that God would actually take delight in me. In fact, I have a sense if he took delight in me it would cheapen his value. I come with a perspective that I am a problem and continuing problem and God needed to provide a solution. This situation is true, yet only half the truth. A half truth can be as dangerous as a lie. I need to bask in some deeper truths.

It is awesome my problem is solved by the sacrifice of God's son, but wiping my slate clean is only half the problem. For several weeks I have been struggling and wrestling with the ability and value for God to take delight. My Dad takes delight in me beyond merely pity or duty. Envisioning this delight and fatherly care in God towards me is a position hard to sustain on my own. There is a heavy weight to feel not merely pitied but an object of delight.

I am beginning to see the solution to this portion of the problem is an extremely significant and utterly necessary portion for a life of wonder in the redemptive work of God. The problem of delight is solved by the perfect life of God's Son. God looks on me and sees his good Son! It awesomely solves the problem of delight. I am adopted into his family, I am a son ( 1jn3:1, 1 pt2:24) and I can now call him Daddy ( Rm8:15, Gal4:6)! My negatives are imputed to Christ solving one problem ( 1Jn4:10, 1 Cor15:3) and Christ's positives are imputed to me solving the second problem ( Rm4:6, Rm4:11, Phl3:9). This solution simultaneously displays God's holy goodness in both righteous wrath and abounding mercy. The second portion is the wonderful mix of divine delight. It is incredibly freeing and incredibly humbling. It is a foundational anchor to be part of a real ingredient in the divine happiness. "In Christ" carries massive weight to much to sustain.

Without this second component, I will begin to anxiously and pridefully depend on my self for the measure of right standing before God. With it, I can have gutsy courage to take otherwise risky radical steps getting close to scalpel sin.

What great confidence, what freeing joy to feel the weight of my guilt and then springboard to see the worth of what God has done. Without seeing this worth, I miss seeing the glory in the cross. For along time, I have been wanting to feel and savor the the cross in deeper ways. A truth I want to sing. It is not just past grace to even the score, but continued grace to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness . Oh God, please heighten my joy in this truth the rest of my life and have it dig deep in my heart and drive me from sin.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in him, is mine;
alive in him, my living Head,
and clothed in righteousness divine,
bold I approach th' eternal throne,
and claim the crown, through Christ my own. ³

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. ( 1jn3:1)

No mere mortals

People are valuable because they have the capacity to know and worship God. This weight is an awesome transforming thought that opens flood gates of affection.

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.
There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously - no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner - no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbor he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat - the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden. ⁴

¹ C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory", Theology, http://www.doxaweb.com/assets/doxa.pdf , November, 1941
² Ibid.
³ Charles Wesley, "And Can It Be that I Should Gain", Hymn, 1739
⁴ C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory", Theology, http://www.doxaweb.com/assets/doxa.pdf , November, 1941

The Analytic gone cynic longing for love

Aaron Radke — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:52:44 +0000

Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music and rhythm and grace and song and laughter? Why am I afraid to live, I who love life and beauty of flesh and the living colors of the earth and sky and sea? Why am I afraid to love, I who love love? ¹

Chesterton, in Orthodoxy ², is saving my life. He is helping me from going mad. I have a far to strong bent to the analytic. I would emphasize with Chesterton that logic is not bad it is just that it has the potential to lead to madness.

"The poet only desires exaltation and expansion, a world to stretch himself in. The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits." ³

I return; God help me be more like a poet. Here is the pivotal paragraph:

"Exactly what does breed insanity is reason. Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom. I am not, as will be seen, in any sense attacking logic: I only say that this danger does lie in logic, not in imagination. Artistic paternity is as wholesome as physical paternity. Moreover, it is worthy of remark that when a poet really was morbid it was commonly because he had some weak spot of rationality on his brain. Poe, for instance, really was morbid; not because he was poetical, but because he was specially analytical. Even chess was too poetical for him; he disliked chess because it was full of knights and castles, like a poem. He avowedly preferred the black discs of draughts, because they were more like the mere black dots on a diagram. Perhaps the strongest case of all is this: that only one great English poet went mad, Cowper. And he was definitely driven mad by logic, by the ugly and alien logic of predestination. Poetry was not the disease, but the medicine; poetry partly kept him in health." ⁴

Ravi Zacharias often quotes a wonderfully freeing portion of a William Blake poem:

This life's dim windows of the soul,
distorts the heavens from pole to pole,
and goads you to believe a lie,
when you see with and not through the eye. ⁵

¹ Eugene O'Neill, The Great God Brown, Greenwich Village Theatre, 1926
² G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy, http://www.ccel.org/ccel/chesterton/orthodoxy.html , Dodd, Mead & Co, New York, 1908
³ Ibid.
⁴ Ibid.
⁵ The everlasting gospel William Blake, Selected Poetry, Oxford University Press, 1998

What makes love holy?

Aaron Radke — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 16:09:07 +0000

Love is holy because it is like grace--the worthiness of its object is never really what matters. ¹

My discomfort and unease with Robinson's quote is revealing much of my view of grace and love. Many questions are contained in this short sentence and thrust together into a simple summarizing statement. What is love? What is holiness? What is grace? What is worthiness?

Pondering the essence of love has kept philosophers occupied for countless centuries. Care is needed, because I know little about giving and receiving both love and grace. I also realize there are many different manifestations and facets of love ². Another cause of caution is the audacity to think I can reduce a massively deep and complex part of life into a little box. Big issues are often big because of complexity even if complexity arises out of simplicity. Under these cautions, this defense of my discomfort with this quote is meant to explore a fascinating facet of love.

Robinson's quote is encouraging for primarily two reasons. First, it captures our feeling when we daily receive unmerited grace from a benevolent and loving Father. If love requires worth how could God ever love us? Second, it spurs us on to love others without merit. Holding back care until you find merit in others has a sinister flair.

Despite these encouraging aspects, I have some serious concerns about a quote that removes a connection between love and worthiness. The concern comes from a subtle path that diminishes the worth of a big God. What about God's love for his son? The mercy and justification we receive is dependent on the worthiness of this object. What about God's love for himself? The pleasure God has in his own worthy perfection is the visible foundation that his promises will be upheld ³. Furthermore, is it possible to love someone while simultaneously thinking they are worthless?

At first it appears there may be different types of love at work. Maybe one is an amorous worthiness love and another is a merciful unconditional love. One is associated with worthiness and the other is not. Although effects takes on various forms from different perspectives, I think both the amorous and mercy love we receive are rooted in the same dependence: worthiness of God Himself displayed in his Son.

There may be a few major arguments against a view of necessary worthiness. I think these arguments are rooted in the two, previously mentioned, encouraging aspects: grace from God and grace to others without merit.

For the first argument, the defense needs to answer the question: "If love requires worth, how could God love us?". The answer reveals love vehemently requires worth. Jesus, the perfect worthy sacrifice, died for us.

If it is true that worthiness is required for love, then what holy love and energy actively moves to bridge the great gap between absolute perfection and considerable imperfection? I propose even this movement of love lies in the worthiness of an object. By making this awesome move of loving redemption, and relying on the worth of His Son, God loves to display the worth of His own name. It is all about the worth of God whether it be worth of God the Son, worth of God the Father or worth of God the Spirit.

In the second argument, although love by worthiness may be true of God, what about the unconditional love men should have for each other? It seems understandable, created as rational beings, we should follow God's rational for love also. If God loves people by the worth of His own name, then men should love people by the worth of His name. When we love others we love them by seeing the worth of God in them, and incredible weight of glory ⁴. This understanding is awesome, freeing and a source of great affection.

There is a great example of love I have witnessed. It came observing a man on the top of a hill. The man brought a child with a disfigured face up the hill with her hand in his. He sat on a rock and she stood eye level. In the slight breeze and beaming sunlight, she reflected back a beaming, confident smile into the camera he pointed at her. She laughed and cocked her head in different positions as he clicked away. It was awesome. He loved her and, by no means, had to climb over worthlessness. Instead he was displaying worthiness in what really mattered. This child has a heart and a mind with a capacity to be filled with the Spirit of God. Displaying the worth of God, glorifying God, is awesome.

Is it possible to love someone while simultaneously thinking they are worthless? Love appears to be quite opposite. Instead love seems to be an expression of worthiness. ⁵ The minute you think someone is worthless you cease loving them. ⁶ What appears to be a simple encouraging quote could be a dangerous view that distorts love itself and accordingly the very essence of God. Instead, Love is holy because God is love. Love is a display and overflow of this worth, supremely in God!

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.( 1jn4:7-21)

¹ Marilynne Robinson, Giliad: A Novel, Reprint, Picador, January, 2006
² C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves, Geoffrey Bless, London, 1958
³ John Piper, The Pleasures of God: Meditations on God's delgiht in being God, Multnomah, March, 2000
⁴ C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory", Theology, http://www.doxaweb.com/assets/doxa.pdf , November, 1941
⁵ In this respect love is a big part of worship: a display of what you think is really important. What you love is what you worship. It is a demonstration of your end.
⁶ Simply glimpsing a return from lost affection finds joy in a spot of special worth.

Life's End

An afternoon of deep dialog

An Afternoon of Deep Dialog

About Life's End

About Life's End

The seed of faith

The Seed of Faith

Longing for Transformation

Longing for Transformation

Fighter Verses

Fighter Verses

Word

Glory

Salvation

Awe

Sanctification

Focus

Power in weakness

Children

Anxieties

Fear not, strength comes from God

Decisions

Future

Welfare of loved ones

sickness

Death

Falling away from faith

Facing opponents

Old age

Weak for work

Over ministry

Listen

Charge to wage war

Triumph over sin

Not perfect in this life

Sovereignty

Glory to chirst

God creates obedience

How to pray with our will power

Equations of worship

Equations of Worship

Riding on the tails of infinity

Riding on the Tails of Infinity

Rational Creatures of Worship

Rational Creatures of Worship

Mathematics and the embodied mind for awe

Mathematics and the Embodied Mind for Awe

Neurons of Worship

Neurons of Worship

A physical battle for belief in order

A Physical Battle for Belief in Order

Neurons of Influence

Neurons of Influence

The weight of glory: the problem and solution of delight

The Weight of Glory: the Problem and Solution of Delight

The problem and solution of delight

No mere mortals

The Analytic gone cynic longing for love

The Analytic Gone Cynic Longing for Love

What makes love holy?

What Makes Love Holy?