As I get older and increasingly reflective on life I can not shake from experiencing life from what I will call the shadow man perspective. It is the strange feeling of not being all there. It is as if you are watching someone else and just going through the motions. Major events in life seem to have this surreal nature. I am curious if everyone experiences life this way?
What is the relationship between experience and reflection? It is a puzzling problem. I whole heartedly agree with Plato's famous statement that "the unexamined life is not worth living." 1 Yet, by constant examination, the pursuing shadow man causes me to wonder how much I am living? What does it mean to "just be" or "just live"?
A respected, contemplative friend once admonished me to jump in the game instead of sitting on the sidelines observing. The same friend shared the story of a poetry student who was commanded to go experience life before she could reflectively understand a particular poem. I want to understand the poem.
This problem should be approached with a both-and solution instead of an either-or solution. Just living and just reflecting both have obvious concerns.
Looking at the ratio of time spent in experience and reflection brings some insight. Reflection is looking back for an extended period of time. Expectation is looking forward for an extended period of time. Experience is an infinitesimally short instance of time. I never sense the shadow man when I am expecting or reflecting. Maybe I am the shadow man ?
Expectation and reflection seem to be connected with heart issues. Premeditated actions are considered with heavier weight in both acts of love and crime. It is true God is after our hearts in worship. From this viewpoint, the shadow is important and should not be shook off.
